Obeying what felt like a primal urge, I gave away almost all of my possessions and left behind exactly 30 years’ worth of living. Continue reading There I Am
In which I run a desperate experiment to get alcohol out of my life forever, complete with screaming monkeys, seductive whispers, and oddly joyful moments, all while I think I might just die. Continue reading My Alcoholic Ego, or How I Finally Stopped Gaslighting Myself
Finally, I decided to relax. I didn’t know what else to do. Trying harder is always my go-to move when I’m fucking something up. I’m pretty sure I was a big, strong man in my last life/lives, so when I get in trouble I rely on muscle to power me through. Unfortunately, in this life, I’ve apparently chosen to be a dainty-framed woman who weighs 127 pounds soaking wet. Continue reading The loves of my life.
Eventually, realizing I’d be swimming back against the river’s gentle but discernible current, I reluctantly turned around and swam underneath for a lungful’s worth of time. I re-emerged into the deepening sunset to see a loon watching me closely, about 6 feet away. I started treading water, and we regarded each other for a minute or so. Continue reading Solo Camping on the Mighty Androscoggin
While writing this piece off and on for 3 days now over a hideously hot and humid New England weekend, I’ve vacillated wildly on whether to post it or not. I mean, it’s very personal. But by the same token, as part of my own Human Being Training… Continue reading She asked what I do for fun, and I had no idea.
I took a terrific toddler photo that day of my bitsy, surprised-looking two-year-old son surrounded by booze bottles, which somehow he’d managed to get out of the locked cabinet. I’d been distracted by a phone call with my MLM team partners. Long story for another time. Continue reading Death Metal, Sorting Things, and Living with my Parents
I find myself feeling greatly irritated today. Everyone’s annoying me–particularly myself. Almost 9 months to the day, I just left a job where I’d gotten quite comfortable. As one of two supplements people at a nice health food store in Portland, Maine, I had a growing following among the locals and was known as the “supplements guru.” But here I am leaving the comfy little space I created for myself back in September. Why? Continue reading Starting Over